Man Charged With Having Sex With Patio Table

Asylum.com reports:

Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table.

Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.