Thursday, May 04, 2006

Couples Who Don't Live Together

The New York Times reports:
MAUREEN TOOHEY, 39, a twice-divorced hairstylist from Mahopac, N.Y., believes that girlfriends have it over wives or live-in lovers. That is why when Evelio Labarta, 37, her boyfriend of three years, hints at marriage — or even living together — she issues a swift veto.

Sometimes the best company at breakfast is your own. Ask Jim Puckett, top, and his girlfriend, Donna Davis.

"My last husband would lie around like Al Bundy and expect me to be waiting on him all the time," Ms. Toohey said. "Evelio helps with the dishes and he's grateful for what I do. When we see each other, he takes me out to dinner and doesn't expect me to cook every night or do his laundry. And when I do cook, he appreciates it."

She can take her time putting her 5-year-old daughter to bed, she said, without worrying that there's a husband in a nearby room "competing for attention."

Mr. Labarta, a driver for DHL, the shipping company, is also divorced and lives nearly an hour away in Mamaroneck, N.Y., with his aunt. He admits that his friends think he's lucky to have a woman who is not pressuring him to live with her.

"My friends think I have a good deal," Mr. Labarta said. "It's a little unusual but it works."

Actually, it is becoming a lot less unusual. Two decades after Woody Allen and Mia Farrow defied convention by living apart even after starting a family, researchers are seeing a surge in long-term, two-home relationships.

They have even identified a new demographic category to describe such arrangements: the "living apart together," or L.A.T., relationship. These couples are committed to sharing their lives, but only to a point.
You'll want to read the whole article.