The Blue State Blues

Jonathan Chait makes fun of Red State America:

Writing in this space last year, [Lawrence]Kaplan described how, after a lifetime of living in New York and Washington, he moved to a small town in Virginia, where, at last, he found himself among his ideological brethren. Delighted to leave behind his "soft-handed colleagues" at The New Republic, he reported that the national spirit indeed runs deeper among these simple village folk. "Dozens of them are serving, willingly and proudly, in Iraq and Afghanistan," he wrote. "In the breadth of their civic attachments, it seems to me that they, more than most of their critics, most faithfully embody the American ideal." And these unpretentious patriots welcomed him. Sort of. After an awkward breaking-in period, Kaplan was pleased to report, "No one pinches my fiancée anymore; no one charges me $500 to change the oil in my car; cops no longer pull me over for fun." Grain production is way up, and sexual assaults, price-gouging, and state-sponsored harassment have all plummeted, thanks to the efforts of our heroic peasants. I bet San Francisco and the Upper West Side can't match those achievements.

Speaking of San Francisco,few places can claim that it takes 10 years to open a Home Depot.Or how many towns can claim they have more dogs than children? Those are achievements.